Body shaming is a massive problem in today’s society. This act of criticizing the way a woman looks takes place both online and in face-to-face interactions. People often feel free and obligated to negatively comment on a woman’s physique without being asked or prompted to. Body shaming occurs within family circles, friend groups, and even amongst strangers. Society expects women to have a certain body type or facial structure to be beautiful. However, all body types are beautiful because all women are beautiful.
I’m currently in my mid-twenties, but I’ve always looked younger than I actually am. I’ve also been pretty small to the point where some would call me skinny. During my adulthood, my weight has ranged from 110 to 115 pounds. Also, I’m only about 5’4 inches. I’ve grown accustomed to a host of comments that quite frankly, always gets me thinking…
“You look 12 years old.”
Thanks, I guess? I think it’s a compliment to look young, right? But maybe not 12 years young. I’m not sure anymore.
“You would look better with some meat on your bones”
Okay, so if he says I would look better, doesn’t that means I look good already? Maybe this is a compliment too?
“I’m sorry, you have to be over 18 years old to be here.”
I can’t wait to hand this ill-mannered security guard my ID. Guess what old guy? I’m over 18, I’m even over 21. That will show him not to judge!
My personal favorite: “Do you even eat?”
Of course, I do. I don’t think I would still be alive if I didn’t.
Body-shaming females often begin in their childhood. Growing up, surrounded by Caribbean women, I heard remarks against young girls and their bodies daily. For example, if a young girl had curves, she was called “fast” (meaning: she must be into boys and promiscuous). Young girls were shamed simply for growing into the mature body God gave them. On the contrary, when I would go to other people’s home, I can remember people asking my mother: “You’re not feeding her? She’s all skin and bones.” I was only a child, but that made me feel as if something was wrong with me. Even before adulthood, there are expectations of how a young girl should look.
I was always able to ignore or brush off these comments until I started realizing the psychological effect they had on me. Over time, I started wearing makeup more to make myself look older. I even tried to eat more food even when I was full. This method was not healthy at all.
I do acknowledge that the world still views “small” or “skinny” women in a more positive light than bigger women. I do not wish to compare skinny-shaming to fat-shaming in any way. Nonetheless, skinny-shaming is still unkind and insensitive. My circumstance proves that shaming any body type should not be practiced or tolerated.
We can never please society. The same society that disgraces women for being big and hefty will turn around and shame women for being skinny and small. The same society that teases women for being too tall will turn around and laugh at shorter women. The same society that disrespects women who look young will turn around and scoff at women who look older than their age. It’s pointless to change yourself for society because its standards always change.
Always remain confident. Don’t let the attitudes and opinions of others hurt your self-esteem. Many people make senseless remarks from a place of ignorance. They are not aware that their words are harmful so do not let them affect you and get you down. Confidence in yourself will make you even more attractive. If someone doesn’t like the way you look, keep your head high, and strut confidently as you pass them by.
Unlearning the norms of society will teach us that there are no norms to begin with. Body-shaming happens to all types of women every single day. There is only one perfect body type and that’s the one that God blessed you with. All women are uniquely beautiful and wonderfully made. Our beauty cannot be narrowed down or put into a box. As long as you’re healthy, you don’t need to change anything.
Unfortunately, body shaming will always exist. If we become more mindful of our words and aware of other’s feelings, we can combat these bold yet subtle offenses. Let’s fight against societal norms by uplifting all women, despite their shape, size, age, or race. Thankfully, there is not one single way that a woman should look. Beauty lies in our differences. No one wants to live in a world filled with clones, that would be boring, and even more so, horrific.
Now, excuse me, as I go for my daily swim in the fountain of youth.
- Kerel Pinder: When Heartbreak Leads to Purpose - October 21, 2020
- Shame to Body Shaming - October 12, 2020
- We Can All Be Self-Made Women - September 28, 2020
