It’s simple. It’s simple to look at yourself in the mirror and nitpick at the things society and social media expects you to change about yourself. It’s also easy to feel like plastic surgery is the only way you’ll fit into these beauty standards that are plastered upon our phone screens. We can forget that social media’s depiction of perfection is brought to life by hours of editing, angles, filters, and surgery.
As women, we’ve grown up in an age where being a certain weight, having the clearest skin, and fitting into a certain box is synonymous with desirability. We’ve also been subconsciously trained to think that being desirable or worthy of love can only stem from our appearance, which creates a sense of unworthiness when we don’t meet those standards. I believe that the power of social media over our sense of self is something that needs to be talked about more often.
As I’ve researched this topic, I’ve come to the conclusion that the power of social media is much larger than most of us have given it credit for. I’ve spoken with women of different backgrounds on their perception of the media and its impact on their self-image. For most of these women, their desire for plastic surgery, fillers, et cetera, increased because of their exposure to certain media platforms.
Our dialogue in these conversations usually began with the interviewee using the phrase ‘if only I looked like this’, along with a phone in their hand displaying an image of a woman they would much rather look like. Throughout our conversations, I recognized that I, too, had secretly wanted to look like the women in these pictures being shown to me.
For a long time, I wanted my dark circles to be gone, my stretch marks to find another home, and for my body to gain weight. Though these were things that I could try to change, I found myself really only wanting them altered because I thought it would appeal to others. I think that’s where the impact of social media truly lies: it has convinced us that what we want to change about ourselves is solely for ourselves and our happiness, but deep down, the judgment of others plays a larger role.
It wasn’t until I cleansed my own social media of these beauty standards that I felt more relaxed. I also realized that what I had shamed myself for went unnoticed by the average person. The same thought came to me as these women spoke about their “imperfections.” The hip-dips, cellulite, acne scars, and the small bump on their noses weren’t something that I noticed at all. If anything, I felt like it made them human.
I want to acknowledge that my mission here is not to make women feel bad for how they choose to edit, change, or enhance their beauty. I simply want to bring light to the power social media has over us. I also want to add that I understand that breaking away from societal molds is much harder to do when it is all we’re exposed to, and in no way do I expect our exposure to these beauty standards to change overnight.
There are still moments when I look in the mirror and grimace at the thought of my own face and body. In these moments, I can’t help but wonder what a world without beauty standards would feel like.
There’s no rhyme or reason for why we should feel bad about the way we look. My philosophy is that our so-called imperfections are the gateway to endless stories. In some way, they unite us.
By the end of my conversation with these women, I found that, for a lot of them, the one thing they disliked about themselves, became the one thing that made them stand out.
I don’t know how long it will take until we no longer equate our self-image with what we see on social media, but what I hope is that we understand that there is no “right” way to look, be, or act. Remember that every stretch mark, acne scar, hip dip, and cellulite (or as I like to call them, body dimples) tells the story of the woman you are today, and of that, you should be proud.
BELOW ARE SOME INSTAGRAM ACCOUNTS THAT SHED LIGHT ON BODY POSITIVITY:
- He’s Just Not That Into You…and That’s Ok - November 9, 2020
- Dating During Covid: There is Still Hope - November 2, 2020
- Finding My Way Back: My Journey with Religion - October 28, 2020
